Wild Card Weekend NFL Picks

The Much Anticipated Post-Season- In the league where they play for pay...

*All point spreads courtesy of BODOGLIFE.com*


Guest writer Jack Duhamel will begin the post as I, Zach Napolitano will close it out a la Mariano Rivera - or Billy Wagner if I happen to spoil the entire entry.

I’d like to thank ZN for calling me up from the minors after my strong showing in the Holiday Coffee edition.

Welcome to Wildcard Weekend, my personal favorite weekend of the year. I’ve been specially handpicked (and given a shiny new Sony Vaio (thanks Zach)) to sure up a weak ZN.com writing staff, providing invaluable wisdom and insight into the most highly debated topics in sports. This is a trial run, and as for any trial run this is either the beginning or the end, I’m at that proverbial fork in the road. If you the reader want me back, I will fulfill my civic duty, if not, I will vanish back into obscurity, plain and simple. If you would like me to take over the site (an option I have discussed with ZN contingent upon a strong performance and certain number of site hits) this could also be considered. You may be picking up on a different vibe here. This site will no longer be about the gratuitous self promotion of ZN. I’m here to give back to the audience, a true People’s champ. I will be accessible 24/7 whether it is by phone email or messaging bird, your voice will be heard. Out with the strange Coffee Tale requests, in with the (insert your desired feature here). If a mutiny is what we need here then so be it, if this ship’s going down, it’s going down YOUR WAY.

Let me explain to you my fanhood so it is never in question. I love football. I was that guy who jumped into the tunnel to grab that kick on Monday night football. I am battle tested. Whether my Sunday is spent in front of a half dozen TV’s on my couch or in front of a half dozen A-holes at the Meadowlands, it’s all the same ILOVETHISGAME.

So, Welcome to the NFL Playoffs: WHO WANTS IT MORE?

New York Giants @ Tampa Bay

In the eyes of many fans out there, there is no bigger wildcard on this holy Wildcard Weekend than Eli Manning. Will he show up? We’re talking about a 56% passer against the league’s best pass D, who unfortunately for Eli, run a Cover Two, which is the worst case scenario for a mistake prone Quarterback.

“This is something I've done for 32 years, but not anymore. If you can't count on me at the end of the game, that's it, I'm done," he said after the game. "I cost 58 guys a chance to go to the Super Bowl. I'd give anything in the world, except my family at this point, right now to still be retired." –Trey Junkin’s post game comments after launching a crucial snap V. the Garcia 49ers in the 2002 NFL playoffs. Look for similar comments from Eli on Sunday night.

When I first caught wind of my call up through the AP newswire, the first thing I did was rush to Borders to pick up a copy of Jon Gruden’s autobiography Do You Love Football?!. Light read, nothing too heavy, enjoyable, definitely a must read for any football fan worth their salt. The most important piece I was able to elicit from the text was Jon Gruden’s sleep habits. At a young age, Chucky realized he could function with minimal sleep, an average of 4 hours per night, as the doctor said, “You were given a gift, don’t waste it” (Do You Love Football?! 61). This being a playoff week, I would venture to guess Mr. Gruden has been burning the midnight oil, further exposing an already exposed Eli Manning. From the looks of Eli (that classic soft, groggy look), I wouldn’t be surprised if he out slept Chucky 5-1 this week, after all, in response to Tiki’s harsh criticism early on in the season, Eli was quoted as saying, “I will not lose any sleep over it.” Sleep tight Eli, make sure those bedbugs don’t bite.

Let move onto a much more positive topic, a Warrior, a true Field General, a Maestro, a Magician, the one, the only... Jeff Garcia. This has to be the most underrated QB since the AFL/NFL merger. Everybody wants to knock the guy for whatever reason-former CFL guy, he’s too cocky, he‘s got a little gay vibe to him. I agree with the gay thing, but ZN.com takes an unbiased look at the games, with disregard to race, religion, sex, marital status, and sexual preference. I’m asking you to remove your blinders and take an unbiased look at this guy. Everybody loves talking about Vince Young’s propensity to churn out wins. What about Jeff? He stepped in for an injured McNabb last year and led them to the playoffs. He was responsible for leading the second biggest playoff comeback in league history (the infamous Trey Junkin game). He led a weaponless Bucs team to a division title this year with a 96 QB rating. He’s made three Pro Bowls. Let’s embrace the guy already.

Quick hitters

- Giants are nicked up, having potentially lost three starters after an unnecessary slugfest vs. the Pats.

- Tiki giving house secrets to Ronde could be that X Factor fans drool over.

- Turnover differential: Tampa +15 Giants -9

- Garcia: 3 INTs Eli: 20 INTs

- New England’s last eight opponents are 1-7 the following week.

Favorite Gruden Quote of the Year:

“Every NFL coach needs three things. An understanding wife, a loyal dog, and one helluva quarterback”

The Pick: Bucs(-3)


Tennessee @ San Diego

The first match of season widely considered most physical game of the year. Phillip Rivers, Lorenzo Neal, Antonio Gates, Jacob Bell (Titans LG), Kyle Vanden Bosch, and Shawne Merriman all checked out with injuries at one point. Merriman claims Tennessee coach Jeff Fisher ordered a “hit” on him. Just an overall nasty game. So, we have to expect a similar style of play. The problem is the deck is stacked heavily against the Titans this time around. VY is a game time decision with a quad, Mawae and Bullock are both questionable with a calf and knee respectively, WR Roydell Williams broke his ankle this week in practice, TE Bo Scaife is out with a liver, Pac-Man is making it rain, as you can see, Tennessee is bringing a knife to a gunfight (with the exception of Pacman), if not a full blown war. The Chargers had the luxury of resting their players for the past couple of weeks and will regain the disruptive (toe) Jamal Williams this week, an elite 3-4 DT. I don’t see this game staying competitive for more than a quarter. Last week’s must-win V. Indy really drained the Titans.

I did lunch with an NFL insider early on this week and we covered these very games. He told me Phillip Rivers gift of gab in the trash talking department could be a potential X-factor, I told him not to talk with food in his mouth. He left offended but I was able to gain invaluable knowledge.

Quick Hitters

- Turnover differential: San Diego + 24 Tennessee: even

- Tennessee has scored the fewest points of any playoff team.

- Last time Tennessee went to San Diego they lost 40-7.

- The Tennessee Titans have never beaten the San Diego Chargers!!

- The only thing that could potentially keep the Chargers from winning and covering the spread is another horrific Coin tossing showing by Arnold as seen here

The Pick: Chargers (-10)

Thank you Jack. I hope the ZN readers have enjoyed your “trial run” as a NFL handicapper as much as I have. I should warn our audience not to bank on Jack's picks, though. He has a huge man-crush on Jeff Garcia and John Gruden, so he is definitely a biased source. But if his picks end up being correct then remember to consider that even a broken watch is right twice a day.

But when I think of “trial runs” the first thing that pops into my mind are those free AOL Trial CDs given out at the local supermarket. Though I can’t name a single person that has actually become an AOL subscriber because they picked up a compact disc while standing in line at Shop Rite, I can remember the many other endeavors I have seen those discs involved with, none of which had to do with the CD’s intended purpose. For example:

I’ve seen stoners use an AOL trial CD as a means of breaking up marijuana . I think they call its use a “weed plate.”

I’ve seen children unwrap the CD in the supermarket and use it as a converted ninja star that could be used to injure a sibling.

I’ve even seen a vain teenager unwrap the AOL trial CD while in line, and use it as a means to checking how their mascara and bronzer is holding up.

But never have I known a person that has opened up the endless possibilities of the Internet or online chatting because they picked up the AOL trial version at A&P.

The other type of trial offers that come to mind are those dozen or so I get in the spam folder of my email inbox everyday. And other then that one free offer for Extenze, you know what happens to the 99.9% of all other trials sent to my Gmail account. - they’re deleted without a second thought.

So as for Jack's trial run on ZN.com, my aforementioned history of observing the general public’s interactions with other trial offers leads to me not foreseeing people using his playoff predictions in the way he intended them to use it; entertainment, savvy gambling advice, etc. Instead, I see people printing out what he wrote and using it in other fashions - lining for their bird cage, a means to testing their new ink cartridge, homework for their speed reading class, whatever. It’s not that Jack's not a terrific writer; in fact he did a wonderful job for me.

It’s just that with the world being the way it is, trial versions of commodities just have a very high failure rate. But just like those AOL CDs, its reassuring to know that in an unforeseen dicey spot, we can have endless free hours of a product (or writer) that peaked in both popularity and creativity 7 years ago to fall back on.

Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh

I'll promise you 2 things about this game. One, every NFL analyst that discusses this game will begin his commentary by stating how physical these two teams are. That's always a given, especially when Jacksonville is involved. I mean...

At this point, the only things the casual NFL fan that only sees the Jaguars on Sports Center knows about them is that they are extremely physical, their coach wears a suit on the sidelines, and that they have started 3 different black quarterbacks in the last 2 seasons (Byron Leftwich, David Garrard, Quinn Gray).

The second thing I promise you is that if Fred Taylor is right about the Heinz Field playing surface being “terrible” this weekend, then the Steelers will win. Incredibly, every time that Pittsburgh has been on national television this season they have played in the most atrocious of field conditions. Equally incredible is the fact that each time they came away with a victory. In other news, Ben Roethlisberger and several notable Steelers players have been inidcted by the Pittsburgh District Attorney's Office with statutory rape charges because of their propensity to play in spite of there being no grass on the field.

So does this mean Jacksonville, who have emerged as prohibitive favorites will win if the field remains tidy?

NOPE.

Sure, the Jags have been more than impressive on both sides of the ball the 2nd half of the season. They are also the one team that can trump the Steelers well-known physicality card. Plus, Pittsburgh is banged up and clearly not playing their best football heading into the post season.

BUT there is one thing about the Jags’ make-up that intrinsically disallows me from picking them OVER the Steelers in a road playoff game. As much as it appears the Jaguars have “arrived” to the pantheon of elite AFC teams, one crucial fact remains that keeps them below the proverbial cream that has risen to the top of the division. They can never beat their divisional foe the Colts in a meaningful game, even when they’re rolling and Indy is reeling. In other words, they have consistently demonstrated an inability to get the one victory that would be of the utmost import to them from a regular season perspective. So how am I supposed to be sold on the Jags getting a victory of the utmost import to them (on the road nonetheless) in the post-season, against a team with a history of knocking off the most formidable of opponents? (Steelers +3)


Washington @ Seattle

Faithful readers of my weekly NFL picks section know there are certain home fields that I love from a gambling perspective: Lambeau, Arrow Head, Ralph Wilson, Gillette, “The Black Hole” and of course QWEST FIELD - where the Redskins will meet up with the Seahawks this weekend.

When I found out that a Redskins team that I wasn’t in love with in the first place would be starting a back-up QB in the loudest NFL stadium, a stadium that also happened be 3,000 miles away from their hometown of DC, I was willing to lay the points with the Seahawks no matter how large the spread was. Then when I saw that the illustrious BODOG website showed the ‘Hawks only had to cover a paultry 3 points, my excitement grew into full-on-Lloyd Christmas - “Just tell me where to sign?” mode, from Dumb and Dumber.

But strange things happen when listening to sports talk radio at 4:00am. Maybe it was WFAN overnight host Tony Paige's lyrical lisping logic that seduced me into picking Washington OR maybe it was Antwaan Randle El’s godfather's 4am interview in which he explained how the ’skins just had their best week of practice the entire season. Whatever it was, that overnight spot left me with a new perspective.

I’ll play a hunch from the Godfather, one I can't refuse. (Redskins +3)