Super Bowl XLII Picks

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The Season Finale - In the league where they play for…

Point Spread graciously provided by Bodoglife.net


Zach's Super Bowl XLII Pick


I was all set to pick the Giants to upset. It was to be a sincere pick too - 100% gimmick free. And the reason had more to do from the vibe I was getting from New England than the incredible streak the Giants are on, though that obviously factored into the equation.

I subscribe to the idea that the laws of probability are catching up with the Patriots. They can’t avoid the dreaded L-Train forever. But the mere fact that the Patriots are due for a loss wouldn’t have been enough to choose against them, unless of course I picked up on some feeling, some tiny inkling, some minute clue, that would set off my mental alarm clock, and alert me that the Karma Police were headed to Arizona in pursuit of the Patriots.

And that alarm clock went off. The Randy Moss battery accusations gave perceived credence as to why he only has 2 receptions through the entire post-season. Plus he looked truly embattled talking to the media about the situation. Would this distract the team? Would Moss show up mentally for the Super Bowl? Then there was the footage of Tom Brady was walking the streets of New York in a boot, either because he had really had suffered an ankle injury or in an attempt to deceive both the media and the Giants. It wasn’t that I was alarmed about Brady’s ankle; I thought he’d be 100% for Sunday. I was just get a fishy feeling from New England, first from Moss who I was truly worried about, and second from Brady, who I felt was using the ankle boot as smoke screen to divert our attention away from god-knows-what. This compounded with the inevitability of a New England loss in the near future and the fact that they looked less than stellar against San Diego, gave me my window of opportunity to pick the Giants to emerge from The University of Phoenix Stadium as Super Bowl XLII Champions.

But then Brady addressed the Foxborough Faithful {SEEN HERE}. And his brief speech amongst the snow flurries struck a cord inside of me like a Franklin Roosevelt fire-side chat during WWII. For a 72-hour span I had somehow forgotten that these are the New England Patriots under Bill Belichick: This team won’t be distracted. Randy Moss won't be an issue. Brady will be Brady. The game-plan will be impeccable. The Patriots are going to Arizona to take care of business just as they have done on three other occasions.

So how does the game play out?

I’ve seen a lot of New England Patriots football this season. My most common feeling coming away their games in 2007 was that they were consistently winning with relative ease DESPITE not doing certain obvious things. These things include not making defensive adjustments - as best illustrated by their win over the Eagles where they were carved up by In-Routes - despite having the single greatest defensive game planner/adjustment maker in NFL history. These things include playing relatively vanilla defensive schemes for the entire season when Belichick’s MO has been to design the most confusing defensive game plans known to man. WFAN host Mike Francesa chalks that up to Belichick’s lack of confidence in his secondary, but I would retort with the fact that Belichick didn’t change his defensive game-plan in years past when he had wide receiver Troy Brown playing cornerback because numerous New England Db's were on the shelf. These things also include not taking advantage of wide receiver Donte Stallworth’s run-after-the-catch ability when its common knowledge that he’s the best Patriots wideout with the ball in his hands. These things include, a sporadic use of the run game behind Maroney, an on/off relationship with tight end Ben Watson, and Brady’s recent tendency to shy away from Randy Moss, when he could probably hit him on 8 yard slants or screen passes on every possession.

The scary part of this is, I think it’s an intentional decision on the Patriots part NOT to have ever shown the totality of what they are fully capable of as a team. They didn’t have to. Belichick knew they could win anyway. New England was good enough to win 18 consecutive games in spite of the fact they never for one week used a culmination of all their strengths, both personnel and strategic. In the process they never tipped their hand as to what they’re truly capable of if they were to leave nothing in reserve.

Belichick is a football genius. He usually demonstrates his superior coaching aptitude in his ability to devise a game plan that could defeat any single opponent.

This year, Belichick devised a game-plan to defeat the entire league. When the Patriots where blowing teams out by 40+ this season, they were actually playing possum.

On Super Bowl Sunday, I believe the Patriots display the full repertoire.

If you're not sold on my Manifesto, mull this over:

1. You can make an argument that Super Bowl XLII will be Junior Seau, Rodney Harrison, and Tedy Bruschi's last game in the NFL. You can also make an argument that Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth, and Asante Samuel are all playing for contracts. That's 6 really good with players with motives that go beyond a ring.
   
   
2. Much has been made of NYG week 17 performance against New England, and with good reason. It gave the G-men a huge dose of confidence heading into the playoffs. But let's remember, in Week 17 New York was playing with house money AND playing in their building. The weather wasn't condusive for throwing, New England was missing key offensive linemen, and they still put up 38 points. The Giants scored a special teams touchdown and a cosmetic touchdown when the game was essentially over. Was the Pats and Giants first meeting really as close as the final score indicated? Probably not. Though, the Giants did have the Patriots on the ropes. But even playing with house money, in their own building on a windy night, and up by 12 points in the 4th quarter, the Giants still couldn't secure the victory over New England. With Belichick having multiple weeks to prepare for ROUND 2, with the game being played on a netural field in ideal offensive conditions, and with the likelihood of another NYG special teams touchdown being highly unlikely....ADVANTAGE New England.
   
   
3. I have a perception that Super Bowl winning teams are great teams. Are the 2007 New York Giants a great team? If you're in the minority that think they are, would you at least concede that it would take more than borderline greatness to dethrone what appears to be an EPIC team?
   
   
4. I alluded to it, but it deserves its own paragraph. We're talking about Belichick seeing a team for the second time in a season AND having 2+ weeks of preparation. We're talking about Tom Brady and his 99.9 passer rating in 3 previous Super Bowl games. The stat Mike and Mad Dog brought to my attention today was staggering. The combination of an all-time great QBs paired with all-time great coaches are 13-0 in Super Bowl games: Starr & Lombardi (2-0), Bradshawn & Knoll (4-0), Montana & Walsh (4-0), Brady & Belichick (3-0). And if you think Aikman & Johnson fit in that mix, its 15-0. That type of combination DOESN'T lose Super Bowl games.

The Pick: Giants +11.5

The Score: New England 38, New York 30

Offensive MVP: Tom Brady

Defensive MVP: Rodney Harrison

znapolitano@gmail.com


Jack's Super Bowl XLII Pick

When I first spoke to Zach about joining the site, he warned me of the perils of success. He told me our sports writing venture would bring joy to many people’s lives, but sadly, feelings of jealousy to others. He insisted I remain thick-skinned in the event of the rogue detractor.

I chose to keep the “Dark Side of Writing” out of my mind for as long as possible, but after some recent negative press, I now understand what the wise ZN was preaching.

In the future, I will ask all critics to clear all skeletons out of their respective closets before they attack the site. This specific critic has a questionable, borderline nonexistent, fanhood. He is also “ethically challenged”- as seen in his Coffee Tale, an egregious cut and paste job. In my brief dealings with this person, I have never seen any qualities becoming of a sports fan. And forgive me for ripping this skeleton out, but his life goal is to become a cast member on “The Real World.”

Let me make this clear. If any of you have a graveyard in your closet, and chose to take a shot at ZNJ.com, your remains will be exhumed.

Now on to the pick:

In the past two weeks you have heard every possible fact and figure. I am not here to regurgitate info to you; I’ll let Zach take care of that. My favorite source of NFL news, NFL Total Access, has become unwatchable at times over the past two weeks. I’m sorry, but after a few days of coverage, there just isn’t a large supply of notable Super Bowl related news, and I understand the demand remains strong, which is why Zach remains on board.

This Giant team has gone on a run unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The Tiki-less Giants did not have any outside support all season, barring roughly 1/3 of their fan base and myself. They’ve arisen from what is widely considered the nastiest, most competitive division in football. We’re talking about a pack of elite, battle tested Vick dogs. The Patriots played in the NFL’s weakest division this year. Sure it’s still a high quality pit, but it just hasn’t been entered into as many dog fights. This Giant team has been banged up and flat out thrashed at some points, but they remain strong, similar to the surviving Vick Pit seen Here. Patriot fans have a short term memory. Parallels between this Giant team and the 2001 Patriots do exist. Each team removed a troublesome character from their roster (Terry Glenn and Tiki Barber). Each team has a glorified caretaker under center, a first class defense, and a steady run game. Each team was a haaahuuuge underdog in the Super Bowl. Nobody thought the Patriots could dethrone “The Greatest Show on Turf.” It’s difficult to put a number on what the underdog role can do to a team. Pat Nation has already chalked up a victory as evidenced by the recently published celebratory nonfiction piece.

On Media Day Plaxico Burress let out a stream of hissing steam which the Giant Brass would surely like to keep bottled up until game day. Picture the Giants as an overinflated football, one pump away from bursting. For the entire New England Patriot roster and those of you below the age of reason, the company of a volatile football (or team in this case) is not good company. New England will resort to their pass-happy spread offense, similar to the attack of choice for St. Louis in Super Bowl XXXVI. It was well-chronicled how the underdog Patriots came out swinging, stifling the Rams early with exotic defensive schemes. They were not intimidated by the flashy, but much softer, team. This storyline has come full circle for the Patriots. They are now the Goliath fighting the wily David. Look for the Giants to embrace this role and BEAT UP the Patriots with a physical style. I would not be surprised if Matt Cassel got a few reps in this game. A late Eli Manning TD drive will seal it and the Pats will fall short, 27-24. Look for the Goliath on a team of Davids (Plaxico Burress (6’5”)) to win the MVP, torching the diminutive Hobbs (5’9”)/Samuel (5’11”) combo for 145 yards and 2 TDs.

ilovethisgame101@yahoo.com

Coping With The Pre-Super Bowl Malaise

A day in the life of Jack Duhamel, as he battles the Monotony...

1/25/08

9:30 AM- Rise and shine. I’ve accomplished the “Threepeat”, also known as waking up three consecutive days before 10 AM, a most noble feat.

10:00 - Flipping through the channels to get the brain cells moving for the day, I decide to watch “The Marine”, starring John Cena. While it’s not the most realistic portrayal of marine life, it does a fine job in exploring the postwar struggles of a young jar head. Cena’s cushy $18/hr security position was not fulfilling enough- the satisfaction just wasn’t there. I switched over to SportCenter after the opening scene, not much of an attention grabber.

10:30- I accelerate the channel surfing to Mach 2 range, a gross exploitation of the finest television package this country has to offer. If you have not jumped on the Direct TV bandwagon, it’s not too late. Get that technology upgrade.

12:00- Anderson and I head out to the URI campus for lunch. We make a pit stop at Dunkin Donuts for a fresh brew of the local flavor. We drink and drive, finally deciding on Quizno’s due to the heralded Baja Chicken sandwich. Anderson orders first and I follow with an identical Baja Chicken order, minus the cheese and chipotle mayo. Apparently something was lost in translation and I ended up getting a small sandwich, borderline torture for an imposing 200 lb statuesque blogger. The preparer looked overworked; I’ll chalk it up to human error.

-I opened up a brief dialogue with her well-rested coworker. I came clean as a staunch Subway guy (Foot long Italian herbs and cheese, Chicken Parm w/ provolone and lettuce (a tip from a creative worker a few years ago, haven’t looked back since)). Everybody in the restaurant began smirking- I felt like a lesser man for some reason. I inquired about the possibility of creating a chicken parm with existing ingredients, but they wouldn’t budge.

12:15- I devour the Baja with Kobayashi type speed. It was painfully small and highly overrated. The last two recommendations I’ve been given have been sub par- The Number 23 and this sandwich. While the cilantro does a nice job in tying everything together, the heart of the sandwich is lacking. The worker said “you’ll never turn back” but I think my next lunch will be crafted by Subway.

12:30 - Anderson and I realize the lyrics to Wyclef Jean’s new song Sweetest Girl are not “I’mma tell you, like you told me”, but rather, “I’mma tell you, like WU told me.” It’s a great discovery, really alleviating a bit of confusion stemming from what we thought was a peculiar lyric.

12:50- Jay arrives and quickly jets to the refrigerator. He looks hungry, which is not a problem as he is expecting to dip into his pasta reserves. He specifically ordered three servings of pasta to extend through the weekend. The pasta is not there- Jay is furious. So here comes the classic Witch-hunt as we’ve all seen countless times. I knew I would be interrogated being the most notorious fridge thief in the house. “I did NOT eat the pasta.” I stood strong. I could say in confidence that I did NOT eat the leftovers. I then steered Jay towards a couple more likely suspects who I will breakdown case by case.

Me - An obvious choice. In the eyes of Jay and Co. this is not even a question. I’ve struck countless refrigerators in various kitchens. I’m battle tested. I know how to eat and deny with a straight face-an essential skill in this business. Odds 3/2

Jordan- A drifter who found his way to our house for the past few nights in search of shelter and maybe, one free meal too many. Jay may have run into the perfect storm here- a scary blend of a hungry penniless man with nothing to lose and a whole lotta carbs to gain. With my proclamation of innocence this seems like the most logical culprit. Odds 1/2

Mike- My personal favorite case- a true dark horse. He had his own tray of leftovers (Italian Macaroni and Cheese) which he saw as his cover. “Jay, why would I eat your food when I have my own?” he thought to himself. The perfect excuse. He was bulletproof. Untouchable. My theory is Mike was looking to spice things up a little bit, possibly thinking the grass may be greener with Jay’s chicken dish. He was late to bed and early to rise, so no problem logistically. He’s slipping through the cracks here, evading Jay’s furious line of questioning and I’m not too thrilled about it. Odds 5/1

Anderson- A very respectable man when it comes to leftovers. He’s been burned hundreds of times and exhibited some of the all time classic rants. He’s a provider. Very unlikely for him to cross that line and join the dark side I know all too well. The only reason he’s on this list is because he was in the house. Odds 10/1

Alyssa- She may even be a bigger dark horse than Mike. She was spotted a couple times late night/early morning snooping around the kitchen. This would be totally out of character for her, which she may have played to her advantage. Why would anybody think she ate the leftovers in question? Definitely a conspiracy theory, but there may be something to it. 100/1

1:05- Mike and the Maddog come on the YES network. This last week has been some of the best TV of the year. Maddog’s “Marquee” persona for the trivia segment of the show is hilarious. For those of you who don’t know he wears a regal looking outfit which includes a flamboyant mask. Yesterday a few callers spoke of easy questioning sending Marquee into pit-bull mode for two hours. The questions became harder and Marquee cursed out every failed caller. There has never been more foolish behavior on live TV. A middle aged man with a slurred NY drawl in complete Marquee mode ranting and raving after every incorrect answer while continuously referencing the callers who sparked this fire.

***This concludes the RD titled January 25, 2008***

I’d like to ask you the reader for a bit of advice. I’m looking to join a local gym and I’ve got two very strong options available.

World’s Gym- Everything you look for in a gym. Beautiful, state- of- the art equipment, large spread of “flat panel” televisions, inspiring music, generous hours of operation. Basically just the total package, the “five-tool” gym.

Steve’s Gym- “The Time Machine.” This is a real blast from the past. This “gym” is wedged in the corner of a strip mall, in between a Subway and a pet store. While the chick parm and the doggies in the window are nice perks, they may rank highly on a short list of superlatives for this place. The owner, Steve, gave us a tour the other day and delivered his sales pitch. He spoke of training athletes out in California and the muscle tearing and rebuilding process. We were impressed by this because Steve has a commanding presence, eerily similar to Sylvester Stallone. He offers lower rates than World’s and offers $39 personal training sessions. It is also much closer in proximity to my house. I’d be sacrificing a ton in gym equipment and exercise opportunity, but I’d be gaining a bit of muscle (Steve) for any future protection.

What do you think guys?

Send all recommendations and suspected culprit to ilovethisgame@yahoo.com


ZN Finds Himself in a Tough Spot...

The one week hiatus between the NFL conference championships and the Super Bowl is rather mundane for the New York sports fan, or any sports fan for that matter. The NFL stories coming out of the respective locker rooms are purely hype and predicated on half truths. Super Bowl predictions and analysis are generally tepid because writers and talk show hosts need to save some bullets for the upcoming week. The NFL draft, MLB hot stove, and NCAA hoops just don’t seem pertinent. The Knicks and Nets are terrible and the NBA's scheduling of nationally televised games is at best, dicey. And even if you’re desperate for a sports fix, the Aussie Open is tape-delayed and Roger Federer was just eliminated.

There is one saving grace for the metro area fan during a week of banality; sports-talk radio station WFAN. Here are my favorite WFAN developments from the week that was…

1) Early morning-drive talk show host Craig Carton from the Boomer and Carton Show is valiantly on the air this week after an invasive hemorrhoid surgery. Today, while co-host Boomer Esiason was reading an ad for mint-scented, rodent proof trash bags, Carton was forced to interrupt his partner. The reason? A combination of blood and sweat secreted from the gauze pads wedged between Carton’s posterior was producing such a powerful and offensive odor that he felt the need to give Boomer adequate warning so that he could take cover. Boomer tried his best hold back from his hysterical state of laughter while reading the remainder of the ad but couldn’t, as Carton and other WFAN staff members tried to neutralize the paralyzing scent with Lysol - which turned out to be the wrong substance for such a daunting task.

2) Chris Russo from the “Mike and the Mad Dog” show made a $100 wager with co-host Mike Francesa. I was watching the YES television network simulcast of the show so I was able to see Russo reach into his wallet to get a crisp new C-Note for the bet. Maybe I was more impressed than most being that I have less than $100 in my Bank of America checking account, but the wad of cash in Russo’s wallet was second only to that of Pacman Jones during his infamous trip to Vegas. Ironically, nobody hates Pacman Jones more than the “Mad Dog.” Check it out

3) There’s no question that the “Mike and the Mad Dog” show is the brass ring of the sports talk industry. But we also know that the hosts are intolerably pompous and inexplicably rude to the very caller’s that worship their opinions. In the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl, “Mike and the Mad Dog” periodically morphs into “Mike and the Marquee” - a contest centered around Chris’s transformation into a game show host dressed in a majestic robe topped off by a full facial masquerade mask. Winners of the Super Bowl trivia challenge receive all-expense paid trips and tickets to the game. Long story short, Russo was called out by a few listeners for the trivia questions being too easy. The listeners were obviously just ribbing him, but even if they were serious, there would obviously be no real reason to be upset: 1) Because he’s carrying around the aforementioned wad of cash and 2) Because it’s a fun game with nice a intention - to give away a Super Bowl trip to somebody that probably could never afford it. For whatever reason, Russo took these accusations personally and turned revengeful. As the show went on he began to taunt game shows players, malevolently root against the contestants, and ridicule contestants that probably spend 2 hours on hold to play, just because they answered his obscure trivia questions incorrectly. My website partner Jack and I were chatting online (we're not techies) as we “listened live” from our homes, and we were in complete disbelief by this disgusting act of behavior by a 45+ year old man in a Marquee outfit, who was supposed be partaking in a fun activity - a once-a-year, special event that people enjoy. Instead, Russo looked like and was acting like an 8 year old kid on Halloween that got his packet of Pop Rocks stolen away from him. I’ll use one of Mad Dog’s own put downs - Bad Job by Russo in this spot.

MY 2008 Royal Rumble Pick (Sunday @ MSG): "The Game" Triple H, but don't sleep on the Undertaker or The Heartbreak Kid.

znapolitano@gmail.com

Championship Weekend Retrospect

Weekend Media Gaffe(s)

• It might be old news for some, but Dan Marino's cell phone rang and interrupted the broadcast on two separate occasions during the CBS halftime show.
  
  
• Nearly every analyst on the ESPN pre-game show had no understanding for the term "underrated." When Chris Berman asked his panel of experts What is the most underrated part of Tom Brady's game, analyst after analyst spoke of his leadership, competitive spirit, and work ethic - Essentially his most well documented attributes.
  

Looking Back at the NFC Championship Game

By Zach Napolitano

It wasn't so much that Eli Manning essentially went into a Siberian Winter and beat Brett Favre at his game a la Shawn Michaels defeating Brett "The Hitman" Hart with his own finishing move, the Sharpshooter, that stunned me, though I was very surprised to say the least. It was the fact that the Ironman, a modern day John Wayne in shoulder pads - Brett Favre - tapped out mentally in a game tailor made to his strengths. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched Favre struggle with the weather, urgently adjusting the heating pads in his ski mask between snaps, and just looking plain cold, old, and ambivalent. What happened to the Favre I knew, the one that prayed for snow and ice, the one that never buckled his chin strap, the one that looked liked like a kid in a candy store after TD passes? Where was he Sunday? I'll take the advice of rapper The Game and "not take shots at legends" by elaborating on the Favre's uninspired performance in the NFC title game. But I still feel the need to reiterate the fact that Brett Favre has lost to Michael Vick and now, Eli Manning, in playoff games at Lambeau Field. And against the latter, it just looked like he wanted to go home.

Moving onto Eli Manning: I recently compared him to a subject on the show Intervention in that the way that he seemed to mimic drug addicts by appearing rehabilitated (break-out games where he seems to have turned the corner) yet ultimately ending up living out of a car, continuing to use crystal meth (his propensityto break Giants fans' hearts). And up to 4 weeks ago, people that watched Manning play these last 4 seasons would almost unanimously agree with that comparison OR think I was taking it easy on him.

I mean, Manning has a career 75 passer rating in a pass-happy era where that particular statistic is greatly inflated! And it wasn't too long ago (less than 1 month) that Giants fans were calling New York sports talk radio station WFAN and openly suggesting that back-up quarterback Jared "From Subway" Lorenzen be given a shot at the helm in lieu of Eli.

But what Eli Manning has done these last 3 weeks absolves him of all criticism. On the road, he's defeated the NFL's #1 pass defense (Tampa Bay), beaten the number one seed in the NFC (Dallas), and outplayed a cold-weather legend - may I add, while looking totally unfazed by subzero temperatures - in the most historic and intimidating opposing field in the history of the sport. I was wrong! He's not one of the subjects on intervention that end up living out of their car, still using drugs. He's that rare case that turns their life around and makes something of them self. With the mental toughness and the heart that Manning has exhibited these last 3 weeks - NOBODY in sports has faced more criticism this side of A-Rod - it would be scary for all future NFC foes if he can parlay that fortitude with the fulfillment of the physical potential that warranted making him a #1 overall draft pick . With that said, it will certainly be weird if in future NFL Picks rationalizing my choice of the Giants because of Eli's {PASTE SUPERLATIVES HERE}. Let's see how he plays in the Super Bowl.

As for the rest of the team, it is truly amazing what has taken place in these playoffs.

Even with the absence of All-Pro tight end Jeremey Shockey, the team hasn't skipped a beat offensively. Actually, they've played better. Plaxico Burress' ankle has miraculously healed, which allowed him to dominate and humiliate the likes of Al Harris and Charles Woodson on Sunday. An already maligned defensive secondary has played superb football in the face of injury, doing so in back to back weeks against elite receiving corps and quarterbacks. The Giants have been disciplined, clutch, and together when their recent history suggests they'd would be chaotic, untimely, and divided. And then there's the supernatural rebirth of Eli Manning.

But most importantly, the Giants are getting enormous contributions from some of the youngest players on their roster. So at the end of the day, even if they lose in the Super Bowl they have an excellent young nucleus and an emerging franchise quarterback going forward into 2008 and beyond.

I was wrong a few weeks ago when I suggested that Giants window for a championship was NOW.

NFC Championship Game Awards

Offensive MVP - Eli Manning - If not for a handful of dropped passes, he puts up huge numbers Sunday.

Defensive MVP - Antonio Pierce - If he doesn't stop that screen pass, who knows what happens.

The Goat(s)

Brett Favre - Enough Said.

Al Harris - Simply owned by Burress. His and Woodson's physicality produce too many costly penalties.

Mike McCarthy - Man to Man coverage proved to be a bad idea, got away from the running game too early.

Championship Weekend Picks (1-1) - Playoff Total (4-4)

I'll discuss the New England Patriots at length in my Super Bowl Picks. For now, sit back, relax, and enjoy Jack's running diary of the AFC Championship game, which oddly enough includes a handful of my own jokes, observations, and analysis. ***Editor's Note*** Jack will be openly rooting for the Chargers and holds a strong disdain for Tom Brady.

A Running Diary of the AFC Championship Game...

By Jack Duhamel

First and foremost, I would like to comment on a bit of dishonesty I have come across this past week. After linking up with Zach to create the high powered zachnjack.com, I have come to realize success does not come overnight. I though the two of us could single-handedly navigate this URL in and out of every household in the United States. I was wrong. We needed a bit of help, so I decided to make some internships available. I gave you all an opportunity to bolster your resume and be a part of something bigger than yourself. Some of the applicants have been stellar, don’t get me wrong. We at ZNJ.com have seen some versatile applicants, many of which have high GPAs and favorable extracurricular activity. On the other hand, some of the applicants have been fraudulent in their journey to obtain an internship. I’ve come across a few generic “fill in the blank” cover letters, which saddens me. Also, some of the references were clearly childhood friends. Applicants: I’m not calling these people to ascertain how good you were at playing Cowboys and Indians, I’m trying to figure out if you’ll be a good teammate, and I need to speak with former employers, not Jimmy from across the street.

3:06- A couple nights ago I dreamt the Chargers would beat the Patriots. This being Martin Luther King Weekend, I think this premonition may hold a little water. Am I as passionate about my dream as the late MLK JR. was? No, but it’s close.

3:11- 3 and out, Brady looks jittery, I feel like MLK Jr. is right here with me. His dream may have been more ambitious, but mine may be more unattainable.

3:24- I’m seeing a nice aggressive game plan thus far for SD. It looks like former Jet great Ted Cottrell did his homework. Maroney is getting jacked up on every play, Brady is showing why he was once Drew Bledsoe’s backup.

3:28- Pats aren’t tackling, they’re not blocking, this team looks flat, possibly looking ahead to next week, No serving of humble pie this week? It appears the Patriots are being haunted by the Randy Moss Domestic Assault Case.

3:31- My daily serving of humble pie just came out of the oven- a generously topped homemade buffalo chicken variety. My keyboard is getting greasy but the show must go on.

3:34- I’ve been waiting 6 years for Brady to be exposed; Will this be the day? Talk to me MLK.

3:36- Deion Sanders made a good point on the pregame, why is Rivers crucified for his trash talk while Brady is glorified? Rivers has a passion that is rarely seen in a quarterback.

3:41- After a miscommunication on the kick return, it has become clear the Patriots are unprepared for this game. This could turn into being a classic case of hubris- excessive pride ultimately leading to ones downfall.

3:44- 14 minutes into the game the Pats resort to their first act of desperation, a Randy Moss reverse.

3:49- Pat come back with a methodical drive, extra point is absolutely drilled, would’ve been good from 30+

3:57-Bruschi reminds me of that guy in high school who is always a step slow but jumps on the pile and turns his jersey to the announcers to get credit for the tackle, absolutely pathetic. I can’t wait for a Seau and Bruschi-less pat team next year. Less theatrics and feel good stories, more sports related subject matter.

3:59- No I’m not eating crow after a Bruschi pass deflection, he was clearly holding Gates, but the wily, clutch vet got the no call.

4:03- Slices 3 and 4 down the chute, Kaeding drills another one, making that 2 3-pointers on the day. After watching The Number 23 last night I’m becoming a bit paranoid. Is Brady, Topsy Kretz?

4:09- Faced with a 4th and 3, I’m absolutely shocked the Patriots aren’t going for it here, with the complete disregard for NFL conventions they’ve shown this year. Not kicking field goals, spreading the field on every play, abandoning run games, using all four downs consistently: Just an unacceptable brand of football..

4:10- Why Not Us? Pass is good for another Chargers, FIRST DOWN!!! LET’S GO!!

4:13- I’m very unimpressed with Chris Chambers’ effort on that interception. This is where SD could fall apart. My dream may not still be alive.

4:18- My mom just delivered me some blueberry bread, cheering me up slightly. Rivers is panicking, just lofted up a jump ball; The Chargers are in desperate need of a defensive play.

4:21- I just took a look at a Sports Marketing application during the commercial break. This reeks of another generic cover letter. I’ll run some Google searches later to get to the bottom of this, I need to start running a tighter ship.

4:26- Just took a very troubling bite of the Blueberry bread, floury, batter filled bite, could be a mixing mishap, heading into the kitchen to further investigate.

4:28- UNDERCOOKED!!!!

4:31- My dog Frank just stole my 5th slice of pizza, cementing himself as the “Worst Pet of All Time”. A never before seen blend of stupidity, selfishness, and insubordination. The problem is he’s relatively young and healthy. Any advice readers?

4:36- Speaking of advice, I’ve got a handy man in the house who has become too comfortable with his surroundings. His highlights include unsolicited advice, drinking on the job, indoor smoking, and snail like pace due to hourly pay. Also, since he has been hired, my house has experienced two breaking attempts and multiple beggars at all hours of the day. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Something has to give here.

4:40- Shannon Sharpe is making an absolute fool of himself in this halftime show. Grinding his teeth, stumbling over his words, just an overall unprofessional job. It’s almost as if he’s constantly “Beat Boxing”. The guy was a great, HOF Tight End, but he doesn’t have that classic combo of looks, delivery and substance that you look for.

4:44- Speaking of unprofessional, Marino’s cell phone has rung three times so far during the Halftime Show. For a guy that never got a Ring, this is rather ironic.

4:52- Randy Moss is finally targeted and he drops the ball. No need for the trial by jury, this guy’s guilty.

4:58- Just went into the kitchen to get a drink and caught our “$40/hr. Jack of All-Trades Handyman Extraordinaire” watching the game and eating some chips. He pretended to tidy up the newspaper as I walked in, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

5:03-Seau makes a great play in the backfield to force the Kaeding field goal. I would’ve liked a more power approach to the third down, maybe a Lorenzo Neal dive- Norv Turner is beginning to show his true colors.

5:12- I’m beginning to notice a shift in the Patriots. They have woken up a bit, as their offensive line is in full attack mode. The Patriot brass has realized Brady isn’t getting it done and has decided to give the ball to Maroney.

5:17- Terrific interception by Cromartie. Brady is doing everything in his power to blow this game. Let’s start getting Matt Cassell loose on the sideline.

5:19- My two nemeses’ have just struck again- Frank having his way with the blueberry bread and the Handyman interrupting the game to talk about how good Apocalypto was. “It was pretty good I said”, he replied, “The subtitles were difficult to keep up with.”

5:25- Tomlinson is doing his best Darth Vader impression on the sideline, what a sad turn of events.

5:28- Two Maroney touches and 30 yards later the Chargers are on their heels. It looks like Belichick has simplified the playbook, giving Brady more of a “caretaker” role.

5:32- “The Caretaker” completes to Welker for a TD bringing it to 21-12. This is becoming very frustrating.

5:36- This is a huge drive in the maturation process of Philip Rivers. Even if the Chargers can’t come back to win this game, it’s important to see how a young QB can react under circumstances like this.

5:37- Head referee Jeff Triplett barely gets out an explanation due to the inclement weather.

5:45- Just used the men’s room. Let’s add poor bathroom etiquette to his resume: not flushing the toilet and leaving the toilet seat up. This guy may deserve a raise.

5:51- Brady/Faulk move the chains again; it looks like this one’s just about wrapped up. Nothing flashy from the Pats, they just lull you to sleep and churn out wins.

*I stopped the RD after this play, Pats look beatable*

*Editor's Note* - Jack also submitted a running diary of the NFC Championship game. Because our editing staff deemed his second RD "incomplete" and "uninspired" we'll leave you with the Cliff Notes version.

6:15- Terry Bradshaw and Jimmie Johnson have been exposed via HD- they look cold and old, not a good combo.

6:33- Congratulations Jimmy Johnson on a well-executed joke. He placed a glass of water on the set at the beginning of production, later marveled how the glass froze!!! Great spot.

6:43- Al Harris is interviewed, acting lively and pumped up, camera pans to a trembling Plaxico Burress who is bundled up in gear and quoted as saying “my hands are numb.” Not a good start for the G-men.

6:49- Southwest Airlines “Productivity Enhancer” commercial airs. I love the idea of the big press conference amidst a bit of controversy, but this idea is very dry and needs to be tweaked, it’s a wasted commercial.

6:54- In a strange turn of events, it appears as if Plaxico is playing with a greater sense of urgency, realizing a touchdown will allow him to return to the friendly confines of the sideline.

7:12- Jacobs is tackled after an 8 yard gain and helped up by a Green Bay defender. This is one of my biggest pet peeves in football right now. Two teams have waged a war against each other. They are doing everything they can to come out on top. You’ll see blood, guts, and tears on that field. How come every once in a while the two sides take a break in the action and sign a temporary peace treaty? I guess that makes me “Anti-Sportsmanship.”

7:16- Mr. All Terrain Brett Favre looks freezing, he just took a sip of what I believe is either coffee, tea or hot chocolate on the sideline.

7:23- I’m getting a little sick of Fox’s close-ups of the center-quarterback exchange. It’s getting awkward and there is absolutely nothing to show down there. Joe Buck, on the other hand, seems to pep up a bit each time the cameraman takes that plunge.

7:25- After a bit of jawing and some good hand checking at the line of scrimmage, I’m really beginning to enjoy this Burress/ Harris matchup - A clash of two physical, prideful players.

7:41- Atari Bigbie= Bob Sanders Lite.

Stay tuned for more posts in the upcoming days.

Be a part of the next mailbag:

Email Zach - znapolitano@gmail.com

Email Jack - ilovethisgame101@yahoo.com

AFC/NFC Championship Picks

Divisional Round Media Gaffe(s)

• FOX color commentator Daryl "Moose" Johnston spoke adamantly about how well Shaun Alexander was rushing the ball against the Packers. In actuality, Alexander (9 carries, 20 yards, 2.2 yards per carry Saturday) ran the ball so poorly that Sports Illustrated's Peter King wrote this about him in his Monday Morning Quarterback column:
  
  "Shaun Alexander is not a good football player anymore. A running back has to be hungry to be good. Alexander plays like he just finished the hot-dog-eating-contest at Coney Island."
  


• On more than one occasion during ESPN's Sunday pre-game show, Emmitt Smith referred to the infamous 17-0 1972 Miami Dolphins as the 16-0 1972 Miami Dolphins. {Take a look at this incredibly awkward (and unrelated) moment I stumbled upon from a roast of Emmitt Smith here.}
  


• Several of you expressed to me that you found it interesting how FOX continues to give up-to-the-minute fantasy information during playoff games, despite every NFL Fantasy league in America ending around 3 weeks ago.
  


• Troy Aikman may have chosen the wrong game to say that Patrick Crayton has the best hands on the Cowboys. Not only is Dallas wide receiver Terry Glenn known for having arguably the decade's best set of mitts, but Crayton dropped a catch that probably would have sealed the game for Dallas and also dropped a punt.
  


• ESPN's Chris Berman said that San Diego running back Darren Sproles stands 5 feet 6 inches tall "soaking wet." Soaking Wet is a term that applies to one's weight.

The Conference Championships - In the league where they play for pay...

All point spreads generously provided by http://www.bodoglife.net/.

By: Zach Napolitano


New York Giants @ Green Bay

A statistical analysis based on 16 weeks of New York Giants football is now categorically irrelevant. The fact that the Packers trounced the Giants in week 2 is inapplicable to Sunday. Eli Manning being amongst the most erratic quarterbacks in the NFL now feels like it was a story for yesteryear. The woes of the Giants secondary, their defense's inexplicable absences in big games - Now a thing of the past. And a 9 game road winning streak which began September the 23rd - a horrifying trend facing anybody that roots for the green and yellow.

So if one wanted to make a case against the Giants in the NFC Championship Game in Green Bay, where would he begin? It usually begins (and ends) with Eli Manning, but the Giants seemed to have figured out an offensive game plan that utilizes Manning as a game manager rather than the focal point. The most important thing I learned about Eli this year came from the Patriots game, and that is - He's good enough beat you when the game plan is centered around "making him beat you," but almost totally incapable once the opponent looks to besiege him with blitzes and disguised defensive packages. And with sub-zero temperatures expected, I see the Green Bay defense being more concerned with stopping the running game behind Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw than formulating exotic blitz packages in a game where Eli may only drop back to pass 20 times. So though Manning definitely is a factor in predicting this game - I mean you obviously don't love him playing at Lambeau - I wouldn't form the crux of my argument around him, especially knowing that the Giants have began giving him less rope to hang himself and team with.

I believe the Packers will win a close game for 2 reasons - One intangible factor and one strategical factor.

The Intangible Factor

The craziness of Packers has little to do with them wearing gigantic faux cheese wedges on their heads or showing up shirtless to games in freezing conditions. It comes from Associated Press stories like this:

Upset that his 7-year-old son wouldn't wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's playoff victory Saturday, a man restrained the boy for an hour with tape and taped the jersey onto him.

On Sunday, The New York Football Giants are walking into the single most intimidating stadium in all of sports, filled to the brim with 72,928 screaming lunatics whose sole purpose for living is to 1) Breed and thus create more Packers fans and 2) Play an integral role in cheering the Packers onto victory. In addition to contending with a raucous crowd, the Giants are facing subzero temperatures, staunch gust of wind, and the fact that this isn't cold-weather cowboy Brett Favre's first Rodeo.

So in the face of some of the most adverse football conditions imaginable, who would you bet on, Eli Manning or Brett Favre? Ole' Miss or Old and from Miss? Again, Eli Manning isn't the deciding factor in the NFC Championship but nevertheless, a factor. Can you count on him to slay the legend of Favre in his own backyard while contending with the ghosts of Vince Lombardi and Curly Lambeau? Can you imagine Favre's motivation not to have "Playoff loss at Lambeau Field to Michael Vick and Eli Manning" on his resume?

The X's and O's

Brett Favre was sacked the least of any regular starting quarterback in 2007. This can be explained both by Favre's quick release of the pigskin and superb offensive line play.

It is also common knowledge that the strength of the Giants defense is their pass rush. By routinely creating a disruptive pass rush the Giants are able to somewhat cover up for their less-than-stellar (though playing well), but recently debilitated defensive secondary.

Simply stated, Favre's aptitude for avoiding the rush AND knowing precisely what to do with the ball as the pocket collapses, should serve to mitigate the potential impact of the Giants' defensive front, that also has to contend with a surging Ryan Grant. Without New York's safeties and corners piggy-backing from the accustomed heat brought by the Front-7, the lethal receiving quartet of Driver, Jennings, Robinson, and Lee should flourish.

Of course, all offensive flourishing is relative to the weather.

Offensive MVP: Ryan Grant

Defensive MVP: AJ Hawk

The Pick: Giants (+7.5)

The Score: Green Bay 21 Giants 17


San Diego @ New England

Don't tug on Superman's cape. It is never a smart idea to provoke a person or entity that has exhibited actual or seemingly, super-human capabilities.

How did things end up for Tommy Gunn after he punched Rocky's brother-in-law Paulie in the face at the local Philadelphia tavern in Rocky V? I mean, not only did Tommy Gunn get pummelled in a street fight, but the boxer that played him in the movie contracted HIV shortly after filming.

What about Sergeant Slaughter after he insulted Hulk Hogan by siding with Saddam Hussein during the Persian Gulf War?

And since this is a football column, what happened to Steeler's safety Anthony Smith after he guaranteed a victory over the New England Patriots?

Though two-thirds of my examples are fictional, the list of these types of real-life scenarios are endless (See boxers Muhammad Ali and Julio Caesar Chavez) - When you're dealing with legitimate super-men (Balboa, Hogan, Brady), don't think you can make a dateless sexual advance towards Lois Lane during the work week and get away with it.

San Diego Chargers defensive end Igor Olshansky will not have cost the Chargers the AFC Championship because he aimed inflammatory comments in the Patriots' direction. That's not how it works. He will have cost them their dignity, as reserves Kyle Eckel and Heath Evans each take turns tacking on gratuitous, celebratory touchdowns in the game's waning minutes, thus destroying any appearance that the Conference Championship game was competitive. And to put it mildly, all histrionics will be in full view of the cameras.

Moving backwards, what happens to set up the celebratory TDs and extra-curricular shenanigans? Sort of a perfect storm.

• The Chargers have key injuries to Rivers, Gates, and Tomlinson. Maybe they'll play, maybe they won't. The bottom line is they won't be 100%.
  
  
• The Chargers are flying cross-country to play in freezing New England conditions. My calculations show that the Chargers have only played in one remotely cold game the entire season - Dec the 2nd in Kansas City and I'm not even sure if it was cold or not.
  
  
• Not only is Belichick game-planning vs Norv Turner, but Belichick after seeing a team for the 2nd time in a season is virtually unbeatable. It also doesn't hurt knowing you beat a team by 24 points the first time you played them.
  
  
• I learned this week from a ESPN podcast that the Chargers blitz the same 2 players (Merriman and Phillips) on virtually 100% of their blitzes. In other words, despite San Diego having a very formidable pass rush, Brady knows exactly where the blitz is coming from on every play. So essentially, there isn't much potential to create confusion that will disrupt an ultra-prepared Brady and savvy offensive line group.

The Chargers on the other hand, must pray that Brady finally makes a fatal error (or two), that stand-out rookie corner Antonio Cromartie achieves his full professional upside over night, and that the weather can somehow slow the Pats offense down to a crawl. I won't be surprised if San Diego wideouts Chris Chambers and Vincent Jackson have productive games against the Patriots defense; I will be surprised if the other scenarios in this paragraph take place, though I concede that with a roster as talented as San Diego's, it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility.

Offensive MVP: Tom Brady

Defensive MVP: Mike Vrabel

The Pick: Patriots (-14)

The Score: New England 38 San Diego 20

Divisional Round (2-2) - Playoff Total (3-3)

znapolitano@gmail.com

Answering the Mailbag

Recipes, driving directions, gifts for him, gifts for her, baby names, college admissions, celeb xxx, job interview questions, school closings, weather, sports scores, Michael Jordan, Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey.

(Please disregard the above sentence. I’m trying to manipulate the Google search engine, which also explains why the blog has been renamed “Mike and the Mad Dog”. )

First and foremost I’d like to thank all who have applied for the Sports Marketing Internship. I’m truly flattered by the volume of applicants. Our admissions team will carefully comb through the resumes and respond within a few days. Good luck.

I’d also like to thank you all for the support this past week. After my Personal ZN rant, a great deal of you have emailed me offering your support and weighed in on the subject. Many of these responses are too vulgar for this forum, as ZN’s act of defiance clearly struck a nerve with many of you. There is one in particular that was extra special to me, and I’d like to share it with you.

Victor Valentini from Westerly RI wrote: Jack how’s it going my man? I love the new site, definitely an improvement from the “Zach flying solo” days. As a 59 year old widower, I am in constant search of a little escapism in my day. I read the kid’s website before you joined due to boredom, but as I continued reading, the boredom worsened. When you joined the site it gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. I now consider you my favorite writer on the World Wide Web. Zach’s post last week was uncharacteristically strong, but I just figured it was a fluke. When you came out with the plagiarism allegations I was furious and actually punched a hole in my wall. Can I mail the bill to that dishonest thief’s house? If you’d like me to do something to take care of this situation, I will. I value you as a writer, and can’t risk losing you. Please let me know. - Victor

Response: Thank you for the kind words Mr. Valentini. I’m very sorry about your loss, I know it can be hard to move on and I’m happy to be part of your personal journey to closure. I’ve thought about what you’ve said and I’m going to have to DECLINE any assistance in “offing” ZN. He gave me that “foot in the door”, that “seat at the table”, and for that I am forever grateful. Keep your head up and keep reading, without loyal readers like you I am nothing.
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"Short" AL Wrote:

Dear Zach,

I noticed that you wrote nearly 3000 (captivating) words in your NFL Divisional Picks post, while Jack merely submitted a bunch of irrelevant rhetorical questions. Your shoulders must be killing you from always having to carry Jack's dead weight. Why'd you put his name in the new website URL? I feel for you man.

Reponse: *Nodding in Agreement*

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Ryan from Narragansett RI wrote: Hey Jack, Long time reader, first time poster. I wanted to hear your thoughts on Igor Olshansky's recent verbal attacks on the Patriots. In case you missed it, Igor said "trust me, the Patriots are much more nervous than we are... (ESPN, PTI)” Remarks like this are commonplace for the Chargers, especially during the last 2 seasons. From Merriman's theatrics last year, to Rivers' trash talk to opposing teams and fans this year, it seems like the Chargers lack respect. Do you think San Diego's lack of discipline and perceived arrogance will affect their performance this weekend in New England? Or do you think the media is blowing this out of proportion? Thanks guys and keep up the good work. Response:

Response: First off, I really appreciate you citing your source on the Olshansky quote. I can’t tell you how many experienced writers I have seen neglect this- we all know what took place last week. As for the question, I actually like what Olshansky has done here. The undefeated Pats are clearly not nervous about this game. Igor’s comments will galvanize the team. Playing a superpower like this, it’s very important to come in with a swagger and play with that “chip on the shoulder” football fans love to talk about. San Diego has some of the best trash talkers in the league with Rivers, Merriman, Tomlinson, and now Olshansky. If these guys can somehow keep the disruptive chatter alive for 60 minutes, they’re going to have an excellent chance of knocking off the Pats.
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George F. from Boca Raton, FL wrote: Zach, I noticed that you nailed the Jaguars vs. Patriots score on the nose (31-20) in your Divisional Playoff Picks? Are you going to gloat now? Go work for Bodog? Caesar’s Palace?-

Response: Georgie Boy… Thank you for noticing. Trust me, I would love to gloat; it’s not everyday you guess an NFL score EXACTLY correct. But even though I predicted the score, I still feel as if I missed the boat on this game.

I picked the Patriots to score 31 points because I thought the Jags would be able to milk the clock with their running game and use their physicality on defense to slightly limit the Patriots point output. In actuality, the Jaguars did not slow down the Patriots in the least. Not even a smidget. Furthermore, Jack Del Rio’s defensive game plan, which entailed attempting (seemingly) zero blitzes, thus giving Brady an infinite amount of time to scan the field for open receivers - was amongst the most overlooked coaching blunders the entire NFL season.

I also picked the Patriots to allow 20 points, which I equated to a dominant defensive effort. Granted, 20 points is not a lot , especially when you consider the Jags scored the 2nd most amount of points in the NFL the second half of the year, but it just felt like the Jaguars had NO problems, for the better part of 4 quarters, moving the ball up and down the field on New England. The bottom line:The Patriots are the ultimate “Bend but don’t break defense.” Any solid offense can move the ball on them. But when their opponent gets into the Red Zone, more often than not they’re going to force them into a field goal or turnover. And when you’re trying keep pace with the New England offense, you need to come away with 6 every time.

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Charles from Westerly, RI Wrote: Jack, did you see the news about the 7-11 robbery yesterday? This cowardly act hits home to me. I am a cigarette smoker and a gambler. These guys probably jacked some bones and cash, headed up route 2, hit up Foxwoods, high-rolled and blazed all night. The only question I have is: what type of cigarettes? The only solution is, hire an individual to sit on the roof of 7-11 24 hrs a day and stop this madness.

Response: Charles don’t be so quick to judge these guys. Yes, they are thieves, but is all thievery unwarranted? What if these men were dolling out the cigarettes and money to the less fortunate, a la Robin Hood? After further review, there is an outside chance these crooks were justified in their actions. It was reported the police were waiting for the suspects at the end of RT. 78. Would it have been too much to ask for them to cover the other 3 exits on that road? I think the Westerly PD has some explaining to do.

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DeQuan from Rego Park Wrote: Yo Jack, wuz up cuz? I’ve been reading your (explitive) for a minute dog, that (expletive) is hot. You seem like you know your (expletive), so I got a question for ya. Ya see, me and my boys usually get a couple pizzas at night for dinner, ya dig? The problem is, the leftovers be flying out the fridge every night. I’m wakin up for a little snack and I ain’t got nothin to grub on. I’m getting sick of this (expletive) I ‘m gonna cap a (expletive). You got any advice for me?

Response: Wow, very passionate question- I respect the enthusiasm. It sounds like a very troubling situation you’ve found yourself in here. You’re being attacked on two fronts, financially and nutritionally. You need to make a decisive move here otherwise you’ll find yourself penniless and emaciated. So let’s make a move here before those ribs start peeking through. I like where your head’s at with the pizza, my personal favorite meal. It’s relatively cheap, portable and conducive to good chatter and camaraderie (I’m actually eating a slice right now). Here’s what I’m going to have you do. Next time you get a pizza make sure it’s the best quality your delivering radius has to offer. I’ve done a bit of research for you and it looks like Rosa's Pizza on Fresh Pond Road is going to be your best bet. Go with a Large Italian Sicilian pizza, which is generously topped with sausage pepperoni and cheese, cooked to order. Your next step is to go to your local RX and get an odorless, tasteless laxative. After eating a few slices of the pizza, load up the leftovers with the product. Whichever roommate is spending an exorbitant amount of time in the bathroom is your culprit. I’ll let you take care of the rest.
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Randy from East Lansing, Michigan wrote: Help me Jack. I’m freezing. It’s getting very cold outside. I’m hungry. This winter has been very difficult on me, being my first one “homeless”. I’m writing this email from our public library. I try to spend a great deal of my time in here to escape the cold. A librarian is looking over my shoulder right now; I don’t know how much longer they’ll let me stay- vagrants are disposed of rather quickly around here. My wife left me a few months ago. She left me to die. She got the apartment and what little money I had left. She caught me cheating and burned all my winter clothing. Jack I’m telling you here, I have NOTHING. The librarian has just asked me to wrap up the email and get the (expletive) out. So with the success of your site, you must be generating some money. Please, anything you can give me would be much appreciated. Find it in the goodness of your heart to help me out.

The Response: Wow Randy, I’m very sorry to hear that. It has been an especially cold winter- I could not imagine spending it without food and shelter. I want you to consider going to the Crossroads Homeless Shelter in East Lansing for the time being. I have already contacted them and they have a bed for you and will provide two meals a day. Once you are there I will be able to mail you some money to get you set up for a little while. Hang in there bud, we’ll get you through this, I take care of my readers.

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Thanks to the readers and those who submitted emails. We couldn't do this without you!

To be a part of the next "Mailbag" installment:

Email Zach: Znapolitano@gmail.com

Email Jack: Ilovethisgame101@yahoo.com


NFC/AFC Championship Game Picks on Thursday!!

NFL Divisional Round Playoff Picks

Wild Card Weekend Media Gaffe(s)

• During the Roger Clemens 60 Minutes interview, Mike Wallace was clearly sitting in the wrong chair , as it was labeled "Rocket." That, or maybe Clemens agreed to bequeath the nickname to the 89 year old Wallace in exchange for a soft interview.
  
  
• Cris Collinsworth said that it was "ironic" that Shaun Alexander fumbled during Saturday's game against the Redskins because Alexander alluded to the possibility of fumbling due to an injured wrist, in a pregame discussion with Collinsworth. For the millionth time - using "irony" or "ironic" in this fashion is actually the exact opposite of the word's definition. Anyway, the fumble was negated by a coach's challenge.

If Wild Card Weekend didn't live up to it's billing as the most exciting week in football, then an argument can certainly be made that it was the season's most interesting. It was a weekend where Jacksonville head coach Jack Del Rio was the target of nationwide protests by PETA, for wearing a leather jacket composed of a full three cattle hides on the sidle line. It was a weekend where we received confirmation on the premiere of NBC's American Gladiators that Hulkamania was in fact - OFFICIALLY DEAD. We also saw the greatest pitcher of a generation lose all credibility, Todd Collins turn back into a pumpkin, and Ronde Barber transform into Aladdin, as he gave new credence the phrase Be careful what you wish for. All in all, I think it's fair to say that Wild Card Weekend was even more entertaining than anyone would have envisioned. Let's hope this coming weekend can pick up where the last one left off.

The Divisional Round - In the league where they play for pay...

Seattle @ Green Bay

Sure, the Seahawks won by 21 points last week in the Battle of 12th Men - The Qwest Field Crowd vs. The Spirit of Sean Taylor - but anybody that watched that game knows that Matt Hasselbeck was one Washington touchdown away from adding Playoff Loss at Home to Todd Collins onto to a resume that already included the We''ll take the ball and we're going to score game AND the most devastating case of male pattern baldness to ever afflict an athlete. Yeah, come to think of it, Hasselbeck really lucked out on Saturday.

On paper, things don't look so great for the Seahawks going into the next round against the Packers. For starters, one would have to believe the run-game behind Shaun Alexander would be of the utmost important to Seattle's success heading into the Frozen Tundra. Unfortunately for Seattle, Shaun Alexander is no longer a premiere running back , nor does it appear he has the willingness to at the very least, sacrifice his body for tough yardage. It's never a good sign when 1) Your starting running back (Alexander) is bundled up in an over-coat during timeouts while his quarterback is talking things over with the coaching staff in short sleeves, which was the case on Saturday. Good Luck when you get to Lambeau. 2) When the first time you come into contact with a defender you cough the ball up, and then continue to run the ball tentatively for the remainder of the game. After Alexander's Saturday display of the both terrible circulation and "finesse" running style, expect Maurice Morris (4.5 yards per carry in 2007 vs. Alexander's 3.5) to get a bulk of the work. He did have a stellar 17 yard touchdown run to make the game 7-0 in the first quarter.

Secondly, Seattle displayed a host of other chinks in the armour against the 'Skins. Their secondary showed vulnerabilities against the throwing arm of Todd Collins, they were a very unimpressive 2 for 11 offensively on converting 3rd downs, and you can't love their receiving corps - though a solid trio, of Hackett, Burleson, and Engram against the tough Green Bay cornerbacks. Granted, I'll be the first to admit that the much heralded physicality of the Green Bay defensive secondary may be a bit romanticized. We'll soon find out as the competition gets tougher.

Just to quickly rehash.

1. Seattle is playing Saturday in the toughest of venues against a team 13-3 team coming off of a bye
   
   
2. Seattle has a starting running back that refuses to run hard AND has difficulties staying warm.
   
   
3. Seattle was poor converting 3rd downs and defending the pass against the 'Skins.
   
   
4. I have doubts about the Seattle receiving corps vs. the GB secondary.
   
   
5. The last time Matt Hasselbeck played the in a Lambeau Field playoff game he authored the most egregious foot in mouth episode in NFL history.

YET, I'm choosing the Seahawks to upset the Packers. And the reasons are quite simple.

Seattle's FRONT-7 may actually be the NFC's best because of their ability to both pressure the QB and play the of the opposing run attack on the inside and the edge. We saw Saturday that Lofa Tatupua is, as Knicks analyst Clyde Frazier would say - Ubiquitous on the defensive end. When you factor in his Associated Press ALL-PRO brethren Defensive End Patrick Kerney and Pro Bowler Julian "Don't call me Scott" Peterson - Brett Favre and Ryan Grant aka Mr. 5.1 yards per carry should have a tough day at the office.

Then I sprinkle in a little offensive rust coming from the bye week that will ultimately lead to panic and the inevitable Brett Favre Hero Complex - which actually didn't rear its ugly head during the regular season - and you can bank on a minimum of 3 interceptions thrown into blanket coverage coming from your trusty old NFL Ironman and Wrangler Jeans spokesperson.

Saturday isn't February 2nd, but it will feel like Groundhogs Day for Packers fan.

The Pick: Seahawks (+8)

The Score: Seattle 27 Green Bay 24


San Diego @ Indianapolis

The Colts are certainly banking on the old Nature Boy Ric Flair "God only knows, you’ve got to beat the champ" mentality - Seen Here - as they prepare to march on to another AFC Title Game.

The Chargers are in trouble this week, and its not just because the QB/Coach match up in this game is decidedly one-sided - Manning/Dungy VS. Rivers/Turner.

There is both recent history (last week vs Titans) and not-so-recent history (Week 10, Sunday Night, NBC, vs. Colts) that suggest the Chargers will get romped.

First off, the Chargers 17 point performance AT HOME may be enough to beat the Titans and the Black Eli Manning, but I can assure you that point total will not be enough to put away the Colts at the RCA DOME. Doubling that point total may not even be enough! Let me also remind you that the Colts are the #3 ranked defense in the NFL, which is actually 2 spots better than their previous opponent, Tennessee. LaDainian Tomlinson, meet DPOY Bob Sanders.

Now, going back to Week 10. If I remember correctly, I wrote that San Diego's victory at home over Indianapolis actually proved how unrealistic a playoff threat the Chargers were. In short, here were the circumstances of the game:

• Indianapolis, the road team in the game, was going to a rainy San Diego after playing a full-out war the previous week versus New England. Not only were they missing the likes of Marvin Harrison, Anthony Gonzalez, and Left Tackle Tony Ugoh, but they didn't even have enough players to dress an entire roster.
  
  
• The Chargers were reeling and were essentially playing a must win-game.
  
  
• The Darren Sproles had 2 special teams touchdowns for the Chargers.
  
  
• Peyton Manning played his worst game as a pro, throwing 6 interceptions.
  
  
• Adam Vinatieri missed a chip-shot field goal that would have won the game for Indy.

With the deck stacked infinitely in the Chargers' favor, they still only managed to win 23-21 and only because of a missed FG by the greatest place kicker in NFL history. Ane even with a terribly depleted roster, the Colts still somehow managed to completely shutdown Phillip Rivers, contain LT (3.6 per rush), and turn Antonio Gates into a non-factor (3 receptions, 26 yards). AND Reggie Wayne was able to torch the Chargers defense to the tune of 10 receptions for 140 yards when he was the only viable receiving option on a skeleton crew offense.

I buy the fact that San Diego is better than they were 2 months ago, but let's not jump on their bandwagon just because they're in the midst of a 7 game winning streak. Wins over the Ravens, Chiefs, Lions, Raiders, Broncos, and Titans are certainly noteworthy, but those teams are miles away from the talent they'll face Sunday or down the road if they can somehow move on.

If I'm a Chargers fan, Peyton Manning playing in the RCA Dome isn't my number one concern. Phillip Rivers, on the road, against the #3 ranked defense off a bye week prepped by a defensively savvy coach is what gives me the heeby jeebies.

The Pick: Colts (-9)

The Score: Colts 31, Chargers 20


New York Giants @ Dallas

I have been very critical of the Giants, and that's being conservative. But if I may borrow an expression from WFAN's Christopher "Mad Dog" Russo:

The G-Men did a wonderful job for us on Sunday.

And they finally got that elusive, signature victory to hang their hats on after a season characterized by a slew of unimpressive wins over mediocre opponents. It's a scary thing for NFC opponents when the Giants put it all together as a team, like they did against Tampa Bay.

I've killed Eli Manning throughout the last few months, likening him to Mike Vick's pit bulls and addicts on the show Intervention. Well, Eli Manning did a wonderful job on Sunday. Good for him.

I've killed the Giants secondary for just being plain terrible. But they played superb against the Bucs. I've killed the Giants defense as a whole for NEVER showing up in a big spot. But they responded in a huge way Sunday. The New York defensive stand on the final drive of the 1st half truly a thing of beauty, destroying any possible momentum the Garica-led Bucs would have going into the halftime. The Giants defense did a wonderful job on Sunday.

Tom Coughlin, you and your staff also did a wonderful job Sunday. I know I'm being being per fuse in my praise for the Giants, but I have to be fair. I'm the first to kill them when they come up short. They deserve to be stroked after a great road win.

And before I move on - Ronde Barber - this is me making shaking my head in disgust for 2 straight minutes....

I wish you and your twin "Benedict Arnold" Barber a nice, restful off season. Try not to have nightmares of Amani Toomer.

The outlook going into Dallas:

The Giants fan should be (very) cautiously optimistic of Eli Manning (4 TDs Week 1 vs Dallas), but will take take a chance on his hothand on the road (the Giants are much better away from the Meadowlands) in the controlled environment of Texas Stadium, with 2 receivers he's very comfortable throwing to (Toomer & Boss) and one big time home-run threat (Plaxico Burress - 3 TDs in Week 1 vs Dallas) that can break a game open at anytime. Plus, one NFL scout told me that Roy Williams is so poor at defending the pass that the Cowboys are contemplating exhuming Sean Taylor's body, signing him to short-term deal, and starting him at saftey versus the Giants.

The Giants fan has to love their Thunder and Lightning backfield of Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad "Rashad" Bradshaw, one that can now rival the Cowboys duo of Marion Barber III and Julius Jones.

The Giants fan should be pessimistic of their defense (more analysis coming a little later) BUT hopeful that the effort from secondary and defensive front against Tampa Bay can somehow snowball over to Dallas. Don't rule it out, the Giants are as confident as they've been in 7 years.

But ultimately, If the G-Men hope to win on Sunday...

...they must bank on the Curse of Jessica Simpson, Wade Phillips turning out to be the the Wade Phillips of old, Terrell Owens not being 100%, and 'Boys not being able to wake up from the slumber they've been in for the last 3 weeks. Don't rule out these 4 things happening.

But if they don't, there are some cold, hard facts.

• The Cowboys put up a 45-point spot on the Giants in Week 1.
  
  
• The Giants are usually left perplexed by Jason Witten.
  
  
• Tony Romo has thrown for 4 TD in both games vs NYG this season.
  
  
• The NYG secondary was torched in the Week 10 rematch. To put thing into perspective, safety Gibril Wilson made 14 tackles in that game.
  
  
• Jeremey Shockey, who owned Roy Williams for 12 receptions, 129 yards and a TD in Week 10, is inactive. Though, I'm not sleeping on Kevin Boss.
  
  
• The NYG offensive and defensive lines were both outplayed in Week 10. Manning was sacked 5 times and the D-line was a NO factor.
  
  
• Mike Ditka recently called Marion Barber III the "toughest runner" in the NFL.

At the end of the day, both teams have suspect defensive secondaries that are some what covered up by the strength of their defensive fronts. Manning's been hot, by his standards at least. But Tony Romo is the best or second best quarterback in the NFC, depending on who's list your looking at. I like the odds of Romo, Owens, Witten, Crayton, and Glenn exposing the NYG corners and safeties better than I like the odds of Eli Manning doing the same to the Cowboys.

The Pick: Giants (7.5)

The Score: Cowboys 34 Giants 30

Jacksonville @ New England

Can Del Rio and his trusty leather jacket, somehow channel the powers of Arthur Fonzarelli and knock off the 16-0 Patriots?

Before I answer that question, I must consider 2 other key rhetoricals.

Did Jacksonville show the makings of a champion by knocking off Pittsburgh at Heinz Field on the final drive of the game? OR did we catch a glimpse of a few fatal flaws that the Patriots will inevitably expose?

I'm going with the latter. Bill Belichick can routinely find blemishes on the young Sophia Lauren (The Pats), I'm sure he can pick apart Tila Tequila (The Jags) - especially off a bye week.

For the millions (and millions) rooting for the Jags this coming Saturday, there are a few caveats to take away from their previous game against Pittsburgh - a team New England recently man-handled. In a game in which "Big Ben" absolutely killed his team (3 INT, 1 Fumble, Looking lost in the pocket), where Maurice "Indiana" Jones-Drew had a 96 yard kick return, where Pittsburgh safety Tyrone Carter made the single worst tackle attempt EVER on a scrambling David Garrard, and where the Steeler's starting running back (replacing Willie Parker) Najeh Davenport was so slow to the edge that he disallowed the Steelers from doing the one thing that defines their football team- RUN THE FOOTBALL - The Jags barely escaped Heinz Field with a victory. And Kudos to the Jags. They showed a tremendous amount of intestinal fortitude.

But in order to go to Gillette Stadium and knock off a 16-0 team, YOU must kill a team when the opposing quarterback is playing his worst game of the season. You can't have your quarterback, who has been the epitome of consistency all year (ONLY 3 INT in 2007) show vulnerabilities throwing the rock when he finally gets to the playoffs. You can't allow Hines Ward to have his longest reception of the season on top of his already dominant performance, especially when he's a tep and a half slower than next week's deep threat, Randy Moss. You can't allow Ben Roethlisberger to throw for 337 when the QB having the greatest season in the history of the sport is waiting in the wing. And you can't have anonymous wide receivers when Vince Wilfork and the imposing (in size, not speed) Patriot linebackers are stacking 8 in the box against the run.

The Jags are a top-notch team and I forsee them giving New England a really tough game. I'd take my chances and give Jones-Drew the bulk of the carries against a Patriot defense, not known for its speed, and hope he breaks one to the house a la Joseph Addai in Week 9. The real question is, which Patriots team is showing up? The 2007 Patriots that made 12 appearances this season and blew teams to smithereens. Or will it be the Pre-2007 Patriots that squeaked out 4 close ones in '07 against the Colts, Eagles, Ravens, and Giants with timely defense and Brady heroics. I suspect it will be latter, being that weather will most likely play a factor. Either way, Jack Del Rio is going to need more than his lucky leather to get the 'W' on Saturday.

The Pick: Jaguars (+13)

The Score: Patriots 31 Jaguars 20



AFC Divisional Offensive MVP - Reggie Wayne

AFC Divisional Defensive MVP - Vince Wilfork

NFC Divisional Offensive MVP - Tony Romo

NFC Divisional Defensive MVP - Patrick Kerney

Wild Card Picks: (1-1)



Ladies and gentleman, I know present you Jack Duahmel and his Divisional Playoff Picks.

But first, 2 quick notes about Jack.

1) I was doing the Newsday crossword puzzle today and one of the solutions was "Eating Crow" - which was exactly what Mr. Duhamel was doing this weekend, at a rauncy diner table for two with Ronde Barber. If you don't remember, Jack wrote roughly 1000 words last week talking up Gruden, Garcia, and how the Bucs would demolish the Giants. And in the midst of his Buccaneers frenzy, an almost orgasmic state of enjoyment, Duhamel had the audacity to gratuitously plug John Gruden's book. And in case you're wondering, Jack and Ronde were served Humble Pie for dessert and tipped a parsimonious 5%.

2) The top of this post features a picture of "The Fonz" - arguably the most infamous fictional personas in American television history. He also happens somebody that Jack Duhamel had never heard of when I brought Fonzarelli up in a conversation during our freshman year at Fordham University.

Ok, enough from me. Take it away Jack...


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa good afternoon everybody! How are you today? I’d love to discuss the high octane weekend we have ahead of us, but I have some housekeeping that needs a little attention. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you the reader have been failed. I’d like to think this news will come as a shock, but at this point, I don’t know what to believe. I’m shook, I’m rattled, I’m hurt. I feel betrayed, double-crossed, hoodwinked. I don’t know where to turn, who to talk to, what to say. I will put my pen to the pad and clear my mind in a stream of consciousness form.

The key to any successful partnership is trust. A dishonest union is counterproductive, leaving both parties guarded and cynical.

After an extremely strong Holiday Coffee Edition showing, I was called up from the minors, in true rags to riches fashion. I was naïve, excited, blinded by the light. My first post was a true “honeymoon” period. The writing was enjoyable. My voice was being heard. I was developing a fan base. It was my goal to take http://www.zachnapolitano.com/ to the next level. I was recruited for that sole purpose. I now feel like that young, wide-eyed Midwest girl who heads out to Hollywood in search of acting work only to be exploited and put in morally compromising situations by a controlling director. Your fearless leader knew what he was doing. He didn’t call up just anybody. He knew I could bring the noise. After years of observations/conversations, Zach knew what he had in me. I knew the sports; I had the jokes, no question. After a few months of zn.com, Zach was hit with the perfect storm. His website became stale, and he had the ace in the hole waiting in the wings to call in and exploit. Either drop the site or suck some material out of Jack? Zach chose the latter.

During my brief tenure at Zn.com, the average day consisted of the daily “must- see” sporting event, brief note taking, followed by comparing those notes with ZN. The free discussion is vital in filtering out the bad material, further strengthening the product. This is where the trust issue is absolutely vital. When I disclose my insights to Zach, I expect a bit of feedback, but I demand honesty.

When I wake up on a Thursday morning and see a rushed post featuring most of my opinions/ factoids featured in a Zach Napolitano post, I have a problem. I’ve been ripped off, exploited like that poor Midwest girl. Zach has committed a crime here, a crime that I like to call plagiarism. Plagiarism can be defined as: the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work (Webster’s 835). Any financial institution would not hesitate to expel in this situation. I, on the other hand, believe in second chances. I believe people can change. I realize it was an act of desperation on Zach’s part. Having been blown out of the water the previous week by yours truly, he needed that “edge”. He didn’t take “The Cream” or “The Clear”, he took my ideas, which some would argue, is much more serious.


Brief Divisional Weekend Coverage Question and Answer Version


Seattle (+8) @ Green Bay

Do I like this matchup? No.

Do I wish Favre would retire? Yes.

Was Favre's regular season a windfall, almost like that brief euphoric feeling felt right before drowning victims suffocate? Yes.

Which team has more short term playoff history/success? Seattle. Was Favre ever addicted to painkillers? Yes.

Is Hasselbeck bald or does he shave his head? I’m not positive, but I’d say a little of both.

The Pick: Seattle(+8)

The Score: Seattle 31 Green Bay 24


New York Giants(+7.5) @ Dallas Cowboys

Do I like this matchup? Yes.

Do I love the NFC East? Absolutely.

Was I dead wrong about last week’s Giant @ Bucs game? Yes, it was a humbling experience.

Who was the bigger “Third Wheel” on Romo’s trip to Mexico, Jason Witten or Mr. Simpson? Mr. Simpson by far.

Do I feel the Mexico trip will be a factor in the game? No.

Who is goofier, Romo or Eli? I’ll say Eli, but Romo is pretty goofy.

Who wins in a fight, Demarcus Ware, or Brandon Jacobs? Wow, geez I don’t know, that’d be a great fight, I’m leaning towards Jacobs.

Why is T.O. so obsessed with popcorn? I have no idea, but I bet if you took a look at his childhood, something would jump out, explaining the popcorn fetish.

Get your popcorn ready for this one, should be entertaining.

The Pick: Giants (+7.5)

The Score: Giants 29 Cowboys 31


San Diego Chargers (+9) @ Indianapolis Colts

Do I believe when all is said and done, Peyton Manning will be the best QB of all time? Yes.

Do I believe Phillip Rivers has one of the weakest arms in NFL? Yes.

Which team has good chemistry?: a.) Colts b.)Chargers A. Colts

Are both teams playing good football, with good momentum and whatnot? Yes.

Which team was accused of collusion in week 17? Colts.

Does Antonio Gates have a banged up knee? No.

Does Antonio Gates have a banged up toe? Yes.

Who won the Defensive Player of the Year award? Bob Sanders.

The Pick: Colts (-9)

The Score: Chargers 17 Colts 38


Jacksonville @ New England

Am I disgusted by the Spygate situation? Yes.

Do I feel betrayed by Belichick for leaving the Jets after a few hours to coach the Pats? Yes.

Who looks sleazier on the sideline: Del Rio with the leather jacket, or Belichick with the tattered hoody? Del Rio, but it’s very close.

Did the Patriots give up the 5th worst YPC this year? Yes.

Did the Jaguars average the 3rd most YPC this year? Yes.

The Pick: Jaguars (+13)

The Score: Jaguars 24 Patriots 35


AFC Offensive Player of the Weekend: Peyton Manning

AFC Defensive Player of the Weekend: Robert Mathis

NFC Offensive Player of the Weekend: Matt Hasselbeck

NFC Defensive Player of the Weekend: Lofa Tatupu

Wild Card Weekend: (1-1)